Let go of the Stress, and Let Yeshua Bless your Mess

Read Philippians 4

When I was a young married mom, I was always a stressed out mom.  I worried about money all the time.  I worried about being a good wife and mother.  I worried about letting God down, and letting others down.  My husband and I felt called to foster children and support families to be reunited.  It was a high calling and I felt honored that God chose me worthy, but it was overwhelming.

We lived in a little, white house in the country.  We called it the Haff House, because we rented it from the Haff’s, a wonderful family in our church.  We had six children.  TylerAnn, Rachel, Adam (a foster child who remained in our family many years), Daniel, Lydia, and baby Brenden.  I still worked at the church part time, and Jeremy worked full time at Alro Steel on third shift.  We were extremely involved in our church ministry, but I was overwhelmed by all these blessings.  When we live the blessed life, it can easily become the busy life.  I had six children under the age of six, and my house reflected it.

Soon I began to get so overwhelmed that I stopped being responsible for the things that my husband had entrusted to be managed by me.  The bills were piling up and unpaid, because I didn’t have enough money, but also didn’t tell anyone that I needed help.  The laundry and chores were never done, and I was becoming sick from all my anxiety.

As the stress level rose, I began to take it out on my family.  My husband and children.  Every little thing became annoying and a reason to be unkind and justify my mean behavior.  I would often give my husband the silent treatment and not even tell him I was upset with him.  He didn’t know what was wrong with me, because I never really spoke to him with honesty and trust about the many areas I was failing in.  I just kept it all inside, and let it boil, until it would spill over in rude and selfish ways.  I would lash out over him being five minutes late coming home, or yell at the kids for making a mess, when I wasn’t paying attention to them, but instead escaping into a book.

Sadly, I would often go to bed at night and cry myself to sleep in emotional exhaustion.  I would blame my husband for not knowing or caring about me, and yet I never really communicated my deep fears and anxiety to him or anyone else.  I would cry to God to help me be a better person, mom, wife, etc.  Then one day I was given a book that began to change my life.

It was the book, “How to be a praying Wife,” by Stormie O’Martian.  In that book the first chapter is about praying for yourself to be the woman God created you to be in the marriage that you are in.  The first chapter is all about accepting the fact that  I have to be willing to change who I am, and not go into reading the rest of the book expecting God to change my husband, but to change me.  I hated that chapter so much I actually throw the book across the room.  Every few days, I would pick the book up and read the first chapter again, and I would wry.  I was completely broken, I knew that if I really wanted to make a difference in my marriage, I had to let God change me.  It took several months of reading and rereading that chapter before my heart was softened enough to allow God to begin the work He needed to do in me to help me start to truly become the woman He created me to be.

The journey to becoming the woman that God created me to be started by realizing that I had to change my mind to be like Christ.  I had to learn to rejoice in all circumstances.  I had to learn there is no excuse for bad behavior.  No matter how upset I was with my life, my spouse, my children, etc.  it did not justify being rude and often out of control.  I had to become a gentle woman.  Instead of focusing on the negative, I had to focus on truth, love, hope, honor, purity, excellence, and good things.

I had to remember what I learned from my own parents and others, and what I had learned in God’s Word.  I had to remember that this is all temporary, but that which is eternal is relationships, especially my relationship with God.

When I stopped focusing on myself and my stresses, I was able to focus on others.  I realized that when I helped others I became less concerned with my own petty problems and became more content in Christ.

In life, it is easy to become self focused, looking only at the superficial issues of life.  But when we realize that the God of the Universe, created us, loves us, and made a way for us to be with Him for all eternity, then we realize that nothing in this world is worth stressing over.

The Blessed life doesn’t have to be the stressed life.

Written by ktmom15