It’s been a while since I’ve written on the family blog. Many readers have probably forgotten this IS a family blog, not just Mom’s blog. That’s ok, it has been a long time since anyone other than mom has posted. I have wanted to write several posts for the last few months now, and with Rachel, as my inspiration, I have finally written something.
Recently, I was asked my best advice for parents of a dyslexic child(ren).
I will tell you, first, I have never been a parent, and, second, I have no dyslexic children.
But, I do know some things about being dyslexic, as I am dyslexic myself.
I don’t know if everything I’m about to say will apply to all dyslexics but, I know this is how it was/is for me. Talking with other dyslexic people I know I am not the only one.
Dyslexics don’t understand phonics
I hear this over and over from fellow dyslexics and I know the frustration. Please stop telling me to “sound it out.” I do not understand phonics. I understand the concept of phonics I know in my brain that the letter A say “aa” and letter B says “buh.” But when it comes to actually reading words, I find that sounding it out doesn’t work. I don’t know why that is, or how to explain it. To non-dyslexics, it sounds crazy. “How can you read without phonics?!”
Every word is a sight word.
“That’s a lot of memory work,” you say. Yes, yes it is. For me, every word is a sight word, and when I was younger, I didn’t have many words in my memory to work with. After years of reading, now I don’t even struggle to add new words to my memory bank. It has become a natural instinct to memorize words. I also use words in my memory and my knowledge of the story/context to decipher new words and deduce what that word is. That’s how I read without phonics. Memory and knowledge.
Never Compare.
Trust me even the most seemingly apathetic dyslexic cares that they aren’t a reader. We are painfully aware that our younger siblings are reading, and we aren’t. We know, we are missing out on adventures and knowledge found in books. When I was younger, I greatly desired to read, and I was extremely jealous of my younger sister and cousin. I thought they were much smarter than me because they could read. The best coping mechanism I had was to pretend I didn’t care. To pretend it didn’t matter but, it did. My point parents, don’t get discouraged if your child seems not to care. If they truly don’t care now, trust me, they eventually will.
Focusing is very important. (and extremely hard to do)
Dyslexia causes both sides of the brain to work at the same time. This can make it very difficult to read, as it causes the letters to shift and words to move. I am not, nor have I ever been a hyper person yet, I still find that my mind needs to be “called to attention” at times. Now that I am older and have learned to control my imagination, I struggle with this less. But if I have a headache, or am under stress, I find myself losing focus, and unable to keep the words still. Dyslexia will always “act up” when I am stressed. For a child under pressure to learn to read, the stress is high. Learning to relax, and focus my mind, before reading is probably the number one thing that helped me become an avid reader.
Not all reading activities are found in books.
Some of the best activities for a dyslexic learner don’t have anything to do with words or books. If a dyslexic person is learning to read, the most important thing they must master is focusing their mind. I like to think dyslexia is a superpower, and we have to learn to control it. The same as all the great superheroes. Here is a list of some great mind focusing activities to do with your child. These activities are great for helping any child focus not just dyslexics.
- Memorize scripture
- Learn a poem, rhyme or song
- Brain gym activities
- Coloring in the lines (color by numbers are good too)
- Writing a word, then drawing a picture of it, or making the word with clay, sculpting a picture of the word
- Balancing games
- Crawling games
- Hand tossing (tossing a ball back and forth to yourself)
- Lazy eights
Every child is different and probably not everything in this post is true for every dyslexic but, I hope by sharing my experience you have gained some insight into your child’s perspective.
Tyler
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