Overwhelmed homeschooling momma

I have been there.  Sometimes I still get lost there.  That place where I am not sure if I am able to do this, that place where I wonder if God made a mistake.  You know that place, where I just want to hid under the bed and not have to be the mom, especially the homeschooling mom.

In the early years of homeschooling, that day was everyday.  LOL

I ordered the books, I made a plan, and it just never seemed to work the way I planned it.  But, after a few mom’s, including my own, gave me words of encouragement, I kept on.  Oh, so many days were spent on discipline and character training more than academics in those early years.  I wondered if they would ever learn to read and add.  But,  despite all my failures, they did seem to be learning.  In fact, they began to love to read and discover new things.

Then we had a big change happen.  We moved to a state that had more home school regulations, and I panicked.  Not only did I need to report my schooling now, but I also had high schoolers now.  No more messing around.  It was time to get serous about this education thing.  So, I made plans to use new books and better materials and do it all right.  I spent a whole month planning everything.  Then we started the new year.

It was terrible.  The worst year ever.  The kids hated the materials.  I hated the time it took to do it all.  It was complete chaos.  And one day I found myself in my room crying out to the LORD.

I was so tired, so overwhelmed, so unhappy, and so were my kids.  As I lay in my bed, I heard a still small voice say go back to my Bible.  GO back to what was working.

I would like to tell you that I got right up and did just that.  But I didn’t.  I was scared.  I was unsure.  What if my kids are not prepared for real life?  What if they can’t get a job someday?  What if, what if, what if?

You might be wondering what it was that I was doing before I ordered all these books and materials.  I was writing my own curriculum and also brain storming and testing curriculum with a friend, Anne Elliott.  We were using the Bible to write all our subjects.  My kids loved it and so did I.  But it wasn’t an official curriculum.  I was just making it up.

The end of this terrible school year was coming and my kids and I had learned very little.  I finally surrendered and my kids celebrated, especially my two high schoolers.

We finished the school year by going back to the Bible.  We decided to memorize and copy scriptures that encouraged us to be all that God made us to be.  All we did for the final months of that school year was memorize scripture and copy it.

Then when fall came we got back to writing our own lessons, and using Anne Elliott’s newly published materials.

My then ninth graders are now 20.  They are smart and capable.  My daughter went to the local college to take the entrance exams, and scored perfect scores in all subjects but math.  And in math she scored  high enough to not have to take any math courses.  My daughters who have graduated in the last two years also have high test scores.  I did not teach them all the things that they tested on, I did not teach them many things.  Yet, they knew them.

The LORD was faithful and guided them in all they needed.

So today, as I prepare lesson plans for school to start next week.  I have a preschooler, a kindergartner, a first grader, a second grader, two fourth graders, a sixth grader, a freshman, and a junior, and two special needs students.  I am excited and nervous, as always.  I can’t wait to see what we will learn together.

I have learned that the academics are not nearly as important as the life lessons of living together in a family.  I have learned that if I trust YHVH, He is faithful to provided all I need and all my children need.

So, maybe your just starting to homeschool.  Maybe you have a high schooler that you are unsure if they will be ready for the real world.  You can do this.  YHVH will give you all you need and all your students need.  IF life is hard one day, it is totally ok, to set the lessons aside and focus on love and character.  IF you love the learning process, your kids will love it too.  If your stressed, they will be stressed.  So, create a home of peace and rest, and then go for it.

Written by ktmom15

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