Let’s talk about sex and what the Bible says about it.
We often assume that we all come from the same background in regards to understanding sex. But sadly most people have no idea of what God’s Word actually says about this matter.
Those who grew up in a religious home may have wrong ideas and feel uncomfortable with the topic of sex, and never discuss it. Then others may have been overly exposed to inappropriate ideas and information about sex, and might think they are ok, or worse may have shame and guilt in regards to this misinformation.
But the truth is we need to know what the Bible says about sex, and we need to be comfortable discussing these things with our children and spouse.
So, let’s begin.
First, God’s Word makes it clear that God is NOT ok with sex outside of marriage, and marriage is between a man and a woman.
Our culture has a problem with this definition of marriage, but as people of the Bible, we must acknowledge that God has a standard of what is acceptable, and expected. If we are going to be people who do Bible things in Bible ways, we must acknowledge what the Bible says.
Second, sex is given to us for procreation (making babies) and for a special pleasure that bonds us to our sexual partner.
Genesis 1:28, 9:1, Psalms 127:3, Song of Solomon 7, Proverbs 5:18-19
Sex is not a bad, dirty, secret. Sex is a special experience that makes a man and a woman physically one. This experience can not truly be explained, it can only be experienced.
Once it is experienced it can not be undone. This is why it is so important that as Bible believing parents, we must teach our children what sex is, and how to prepare to keep it a sacred experience between themselves and their spouse. This is not a parenting post, but a marriage post, so I will focus on young adults and young married people as I continue.
Sadly, I think many young people do not know what sex actually is, and how one can get to the point of having sex without even meaning to. So, to be certain that my readers know what sex is, I will speak plainly. Sex is when a man’s penis is put inside a woman’s vagina. This is sex, now the act of sex is not complete unless a man releases sperm into the woman. When this happens a chance is created for that woman to become pregnant if a sperm from the man connects with an egg inside that woman. This is the way God made it for a man and woman to be fruitful and multiple.
But, just because a man and woman have sex does not mean they will get pregnant. The act of sex can create emotional and physical enjoyment. God created men and woman to be attracted to each other and to desire to touch each other, and these intimate desires lead to more desire to connect physically that if left without self control will lead to sex. In this regard, we are not much different than the animals. Like animals the physical attraction creates a internal pull that brings us together and even without much thought we know how to move and connect with each other to create life through sex.
Sadly, the sin of this world has confused many into thinking that they are attracted to and desire to be intimately connected to people of the same gender. This is NOT God’s design.
Now that we have established what sex is, and who should and should not be having sex, let’s talk about how to avoid premarital sex, and how to have healthy and Holy Sex in marriage.
I think the best way to avoid sex before marriage is to guard yourself from being in a situation where you would be capable of having sex.
Start by not looking at inappropriate things and talking about inappropriate things. I know this is hard with sex being everywhere in music, art, movies, games, and so much more. We are not to look at the nakedness of others. This means we need to be modest in our dress and we need to be aware of others.
Leviticus 18
The second thing we can do to avoid sex before marriage is to not be alone with someone who is of the opposite gender alone. Don’t put yourself in a situation that will cause you to make a mistake you will regret.
Lastly, talk to a person or persons that you can trust about your weaknesses and challenges when it comes to pure thoughts and actions.
(If you have already had sex outside of marriage, you have not committed the unforgivable sin. You need to repent and sin no more. You need to forgive yourself. Do not live in shame. Shame leads to more sin. Instead admit your sin, and make a decision to live above reproach.)
Live in a way that no one would question your purity.
Remind yourself that you want your future spouse to save his self and all his inmate touches for your wedding day, so you will do your best to do the same. You will have a lifetime to be intimate after your wedding day, but you will not be able to take back the acts of intimacy that you gave to someone else before that day.
Now, what about after we are married. Are there rules?
Join me in the next post, when I look into the Bible to see what it says about how a husband and wife should behave in the privacy of their own bedroom.
Read 1 Corinthians 6
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