If you have a child you know, that after a child enters your life it takes time to adjust, and find a routine. During that time your priorities in life are changing, and things are a bit disorganized in the process. The house may be a bit dusty, dishes need doing, finding time to fold laundry is impossible. If you’re like me and you make all your meals from scratch, during this time you’d do a crazy thing called buying tortillas, and granola bars. You may not go to women’s Bible study and may step down from certain positions for a few months as well.
These things are all ok for the time being, as long as you remember certain things must always be at the top of our priorities (praying, reading Gods word daily, caring for your husband’s needs). And as long as it is only for a short while. This should not become everyday living.
I had my baby in June of 2018. I did NOT have the birth that I planned and ended up having a C-section. (I did get blessed with a strong, smart, adorable, and healthy baby and praise YHVH God for that).
Due to the C-section and the fact that this was my first baby the recovery/adjustment to life took a bit longer than I wanted.
Around the time my baby turned 3 months, I started getting into a good routine. Closer to 5 months, I started figuring out how to clean and cook with a baby. But about the time my son turned 6 months, I started to feel myself hitting a wall.
I felt like I wasn’t bringing much to the table. My first thoughts were, “I need to go get a job.” Then quickly I realized, that wasn’t an option for me (unless I could bring baby along). I discussed my thoughts, and feelings with my husband. We thought, and prayed about many different options.
After prayer and discussion, we both came to the same conclusions. I am useful where I am, BUT I must be spending my time wisely.
During the time we spent praying, I opened my Bible and read Proverbs 31. What a beautiful passage YHVH God put in His precious word for us all. It’s lovely writing and so encouraging. When I read it, I wanted to be that woman. She accomplishes so much and is so wise.
That’s what I need to be productive, a good manager of my time. If I sit at home, listen to music, and look at Pinterest all day. I am not being a Proverbs 31 woman. If I read useful books all day and study new things, I’m still not being a Proverbs 31 woman. Let’s see what a Proverbs 31 woman does with her time.
Works with her hands
She works with her hands we see this throughout the chapter. She clothes her family. She makes their meals. She was a woman who had things in order and a clean home.
She is self-sufficient
She plants her own food. Makes her own clothes and coverings.
She uses her money wisely
We see this in verse 16, “She considers a field and buys it.” She thought about its worth and bought a field to help with a little income. Then with her earnings, she plants a vineyard.
She is not lazy
She gets up early as seen in verse 15. She works hard early in the morning and late at night (v18).
She is strong
She works hard she knows that her work does good for her family, so even when it’s tough, she pressed through which makes her strong.
She is a servant
She gives to her maidens. She also helps the poor. She cares for her children and husband, as well.
She is wise and kind
She knows God’s blessings and shares it with others. She spends the time to grow closer to YHVH each day and teaches her kids to do the same.
Now after reading through those verses you can understand why she is worth more than jewels. She not only cares for her family she works hard and makes a profit.
So what does this mean for us now? How can we become women that are worth more than jewels? Let’s look and see.
Work with our hands
Get to work! Before we can go and get extra work done, we must make sure our home is clean and organized. This is important. My husband loves to see a clean and orderly home when he gets home from work. He wants to know that I’ve been taking care of the things he works hard to pay for. He can relax in a clean environment. If he comes home to a messy, stinky home, he can’t relax and that’ll affect his attitude, and well being.
Yes, there will be days when he comes home to a mess, but that shouldn’t be what he comes home to regularly.
Make do with what you have. My husband and I live on a tight budget. A few months ago, things were super tight. So I said, “We don’t need to get groceries this month.” We didn’t eat five-course meals all month, but we ate good meals from scratch with what we had.
Saving money is just as useful as making money!!!!
The thermostat is on 65 in our house, it stays at 65 almost 100% of the time. If it is a super cold day, I dress myself and son in layers. I plant a garden and grow my own food each summer. I freeze and can the food to last all year. This saves lots of dollars. Make good use of the stuff you already have. By saving money in these ways, when you do have a need you’ll have the money for it.
Use your money wisely
Both my husband and I are very very strict with how we spend our money. We both work hard for our money we aren’t going to spend it on things we don’t need. Think about that when you go shopping. Is this item useful? Will it benefit me or anyone else? If it is an item that is essential make sure you get the best deal. That does not mean, get the cheapest one. Sometimes paying a little more will save money in the long run. Be smart about your buying decisions.
Like I mentioned earlier, I make my food from scratch. It takes a little more time but saves a lot of money. It also gets easier the more you do it. I make my own tortillas, and noodles. I’ve been practicing bread (almost there). I don’t buy snacks or treats at the store, I make my own granola bars and treats when we need them.
Along with all of that, be smart about packing food when you go places or packing your husband lunch each day. I’ll be honest, I struggle to pack my husband his lunches. It’s a very simple and easy thing to just set aside some extra dinner for him to take with him the next day. (Just don’t forget to do it).
Don’t be lazy
Pretty self-explanatory, right? You might think so, but sometimes laziness can be hard to recognize. We make excuses easily and get caught up in things and try to justify our laziness.
I want to challenge you to cut things out of your life that keeps you from being productive. Whether that means social media, WiFi, getting rid of your smartphone, or tv. Or maybe for you, it means writing a schedule or to do list to stay on task. Setting an alarm to get up each morning.
I want you to take a look at your life and cut out all the laziness. Remember to rest on Shabbat though. If you work hard for six days that Shabbat will mean even more.
This could sound a lot like don’t be lazy, but it is different. Being strong means that when things get tough you have the strength to keep going. When you get sick for a week, and the house is a wreck and the budget went out the window. Don’t be discouraged. Get better and get things back in order! That’s what a strong woman does.
That’s the physical side of it, but women of YHVH are also called to be spiritually strong. This means you need to know what you believe. Why? So that when your faith, beliefs, or way of life gets questioned you can stand strong knowing you are not in the wrong.
Be a servant
My sister Bekah is the most servant-hearted person I’ve ever met. She truly just serves. She never expects anything in return. It’s her way of life she just does things for people.
Serving is a blessing it is nourishing to the soul. It is important to find places we can serve regularly. It is also good to serve at the moment when needed.
Find places where you can serve regularly and use your gifts and talents for serving YHVH and others. This will look different from person to person depending on what serving opportunities are in your community and what gifts you have to use.
Whether you have musical gifts to serve at church or a nursing home. Maybe you can offer to teach or tutor someone. Maybe you can offer to babysit, make meals, read, shop, build, pray, or just spend time with someone. Find somewhere to serve and do it with a loving attitude even when it’s hard.
Be wise and kind
Where does wisdom come from?
It comes from YHVH God. So in order to have wisdom, we must study His precious word. We must learn to be disciplined, and diligent to do what is written in His Holy word.
By spending time in God’s word, and praying He will show us ways to gain wisdom. But we must do what the scripture says. We must clean out our lives from anything ungodly. We must cherish God’s love, and kindness, so we can pass it on to our children, and others.
If I go around complaining about my husband, and children, I will not be known as wise or kind. Whether spoken in sarcasm or not, we must not put others down. I try my best to speak good words over my son. I do not say he is a trouble maker, or ornery. If we speak those kinds of words over our children, they will think that is the way they are supposed to be, or that it is cute to be naughty.
Instead, I focus on what he is good at, and I tell my husband how well my son plays on the floor while I cook dinner. I let my little guy know that he is a good boy, and he wants to honor God. This is a good habit to be in as he gets older.
Likewise, I try to always say good things about my husband (I do struggle with sarcasm and regret things I’ve sarcastically said about my husband). I’m working hard on this one. It is hard because of the culture we live in, where sarcasm is so accepted. My husband is an amazing man, it shouldn’t be hard for me only to speak of his strengths, but it is. So, daily I write down the things I love about my husband. I pray to YHVH to help me not speak sarcastically or poorly about him.
This is an area in my life that I’m growing in wisdom and kindness. Find that area in your life that needs spiritual growth and use Gods word and prayer to help you move forward. That’s how we will learn to become women of wisdom and kindness.
Now, I didn’t touch on all the things in Proverbs 31. I do hope you read the passage already, but if not, read it. Read it every day. Make a poster of Proverbs 31 and frame it. I hope this was encouraging for you to read and hope it changes something in your life today.
Until next time,