For several months, I have been praying some very specific prayers over myself, my spouse, and my children. There seemed to be a plague of unwellness over our family. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. Some of my family members had very specific health issues that they had asked me about, and some seemed to be struggling with anxiety and depression. Many seemed to be unusually tired, and several wanted to expand their families, but felt health issues were causing them to not be able to get pregnant or to hold onto their pregnancy. 2025 in our family had a lot of quiet loss. So, I went to my prayer chamber and I asked God to heal our family. I too, had been suffering with health issues and doctors seemed to be unable to help me find answers.
So, I began praying. I began praying very specific prayers over my children. I prayed in the Spirit for my daughters wombs, my sons sperm. I prayed for my husband’s anxiety and stress. I prayed for my sons work loads, and lack of work. I prayed and prayed. Most of all I prayed that God would do whatever it took to heal our family, and bring new life.
I have been a prayer warrior my whole life. My mom used to tell me that I was special because I had a spiritual gift of knowing/feeling the needs of others. Today, some might call it empathy, but whatever it is, I love to pray and intercede for God’s children. But, there is something I have learned. When we go to God in sincerity and ask Him to do mighty things, often He will bring us into a place of discipline, a place that feels hard, a place of trials and tribulations, a place that requires us to deepen our dependence on Him.
Life has become a bit bumpy these past couple of weeks (months?). I don’t know, maybe years.
I was praying mostly for physical and mental healing of our family, but God, in His all knowing wisdom, knew there was a deeper healing that had to take place. He knew in order for this family to truly become the people He designed them to be, we must deal with past sin and shame that was keeping us stuck in a cycle of guilt, and if not exposed to the Light, could potentially repeat itself in our family. Sin has a way of sneaking back into our lives, if we gloss over it, and don’t take the time to root it out completely.
Sin and confession is awkward and often overwhelming. It can be so difficult that in the moment of confrontation, we allow our emotions, shame, and fear to keep us from asking the hard questions and doing the hard things. If we don’t take the time to do the hard things, we don’t really allow for God to heal us and grow us.
God wants to use us for His Kingdom, but we can’t be useful (good, tov) if we don’t allow God to refine us into the tool He designed us to be.
1 Peter 1:3-25
Blessed be the God and Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great
mercy, he has caused us to be born again
to a living hope through the resurrection
of Jesus Christ from the dead,
4to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled,
and unfading, kept in heaven for you,
who by God’s power are being guarded
through faith for a salvation ready to be
revealed in the last time.
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary,
you have been grieved by various
trials, so that the tested genuineness of
your faith
—more precious than gold that
perishes though it is tested by fire
—may
be found to result in praise and glory and
honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Though you have not seen him, you love
him. Though you do not now see him, you
believe in him and rejoice with joy that is
inexpressible and filled with glory,
obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Concerning this salvation, the prophets
who prophesied about the grace that was
to be yours searched and inquired carefully,
inquiring what person or time the
Spirit of Christ in them was indicating
when he predicted the sufferings of Christ
and the subsequent glories.
It was revealed to them that they were serving not
themselves but you, in the things that
have now been announced to you through
those who preached the good news to you
by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things
into which angels long to look.
Therefore, preparing your minds for action,
and being sober-minded, set your
hope fully on the grace that will be
brought to you at the revelation of Jesus
Christ. As obedient children, do not be
conformed to the passions of your former
ignorance, but as he who called you is
holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,
16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for
I am holy.”
And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to
each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with
fear throughout the time of your exile,
knowing that you were ransomed from
the futile ways inherited from your forefathers,
not with perishable things such as
silver or gold, but with the precious
blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without
blemish or spot. He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was
made manifest in the last times for the
sake of you who through him are believers in God,
who raised him from the dead
and gave him glory, so that your faith and
hope are in God.
Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly
love, love one another earnestly from a
pure heart, since you have been born
again, not of perishable seed but of imper-
ishable, through the living and abiding
word of God; for
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.”
And this word is the good news that was
preached to you.
This life, here on earth, is our opportunity to become the person God created us to be. He didn’t design a world and people that were without choice. He designed a world and people that would have to choose to believe in Him, to follow and obey Him. A people that would have to desire a relationship with Him so much that they would chose Him above all else. The only way for us to become those people is to realize how magnificent He is and how Holy He is. Sadly, to truly understand that God had to show us sin, He had to give us an opportunity to choose another choice, He knew we would be tempted, He knew we would fail. He knew that we would not be perfect, and we would need to be refined and reformed into His image again, the image He intended us to be from the very beginning.
God in His infinite wisdom knew that sin and temptation were required for us to truly become the people He desired us to be. Sin, temptation, trials, tribulations, and pain are necessary for us to be made whole, for us to truly understand how great God’s love for us is.
So, as I prayed for God to heal our family and bring new life, I was asking for Him to break off what is hindering our growth. I didn’t realize I was asking Him to reveal our sin, our true sickness and disease. I didn’t realize I was asking God to discipline us, and strengthen us for His good work.
Yesterday, I was angry with God. Today, I seek Him and know that He truly works all things out for the good of His children, and ultimately for His Glory. He is a good God, and He uses His people to build His Kingdom. He teaches us through our own mistakes and trials how desperately we need a Savior.
Today, I give thanks for God is good and His mercy endures forever.
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