10 Things I want My Adult Children to Know about Me

In 2019, I wrote this blog post to my adult children about what I believe are the ten things that will help them succeed in life.

Today, I am thinking about ten things I want to my adult children to know about me, their mom.  Recently, my oldest son moved to a new place.  He lives about two hours away from us, near Detroit.  My husband and I don’t drive over to see him often enough.  So, we took an evening and drove over to see his new apartment and take him out to dinner.  As we drove home, I thought how is it that he will be thirty this next month.  Time goes by so quickly.  It feels like it was just yesterday that the caseworker brought him home to us.

We are so blessed to have 10 children that are 18 or older.  Six of those children are married to wonderful men and women.  When it comes to son and daughter in laws, we are truly blessed with the best.  But, there are times I wonder if all of our adult children know how I truly feel about them, and what my thoughts are towards them.  So, I decided to make a list of ten things I want them to know about me.

Ten things I want my adult children to know about me, especially my son and daughter in laws:

1. I pray for you everyday, often several time a day.  Every morning I pray for you, and every day as I think of you, I pray for you.  I pray for your health.  I pray for your job.  I pray for you as a spouse.  I pray for your co-workers.  I pray for your children.  I pray for you to have a close relationship with your Creator and Redeemer.  I pray for your vehicles. I pray about your hobbies, and interests.  I pray for you!
2. I am so blessed to call you son or daughter.  I know we try to be careful about using the word proud in our family.  But, I truly am so very proud of each of you.  Every day you do things that make my heart swell with joy.  I love the way you love your spouse.  I love the way you care for your children.  I love how you care about others, especially your family, grandparents, siblings, parents, spouse, cousins.  I love hearing about the relationships you are building with others.  I love so many things about what you do each and everyday.
3. I think you are the smartest people I know.  I call you and ask you questions about anything and everything, because I truly believe you know the answers or can figure them out.
4. I actually try very hard to not give unsolicited advice.  This probably makes you laugh, but it is true.  I don’t mean to give you advice you didn’t ask for, but I have spent the last 30 years parenting you and your siblings, and when you are a child, it is my job to advice and counsel you in the way you should go.  So, it sometimes just happens.  But, know, I love you regardless if you take my advice or not.
5. I am here to answer questions, encourage, and motivate you to be the best person you can be.  I don’t want to be critical or bossy, but if you need me I am here.  I honestly, realize the older I get, that I know very little.  But the little I do know, I will use to bless you and our family the best I can.
6. I appreciate all the love and care you give to me and your dad.  Often I cry happy tears at night when I think of you and all you do for dad and I.  Each of you have so many responsibilities and yet, you take the time to care for your parents in so many different ways.  I know I am not always the best at saying thank you, or I appreciate you, but I DO!
7.  I love being apart of your lives, but I don’t expect you to include me in everything, that is what makes it so special when you do.  When you include me in your birth experience, children’s special days, and/or other special moments, I am so so very honored.  I don’t expect you to invite me to every special event, but when you do, it just blesses me beyond measure.  I love attending your doctor’s appointments, watching your children so you can run an errand or go on a date with your spouse, keeping a fun secret with you, and more.  But I want you to know it doesn’t bother me if you choose to do life things without me, because you are an adult.  Just tell me when and what you desire, and I am happy to support you however is best for you.
8. My greatest desire is to see you grow in your relationship with God Almighty through His Son, Yeshua.  I love hearing about the ways God is working in your lives.  I love seeing you grow in faith.
9. You can tell me no.  This is so important for me to say to each of you now that you are an adult.  When you are a child in our home, it is not appropriate most of the time for you to tell your dad or I no.  But you are not a child anymore, you can tell us no.  If I ask you to do a job, or offer to pay you for a job, but you can’t do it, just say no.  If I do something with your child that you do not want me to do, then just tell me.  If I invade your privacy, say so.  You are allowed to tell me no.  (Just remember I am very sensitive, especially when it come to my sons.  So, be gentle.)
10. I LOVE YOU!!!!  Each and everyone of you, I love you so very, very much.  Daniel, Tyler, Chris, Rachel, Kiezer, Lydia, Luke, Brenden, Kaitlyn, Bekah, Andrew, Davey, Jeremiah, Mara, Joshua, and Zachery.  I love you so, so much, I am amazed my heart doesn’t explode it is so full every time I think of you.  God has truly blessed me with each of you.

There are things that are hard about being a parent of adult children and young children.  I spend my days home with the smaller children that are still learning to control their temper, to listen and obey, to take responsibility for their actions and words.  It is a huge job day after day to train them and guide them, and I sometimes forget to take my mothering hat off when dealing with others.  But, if I do that to you, and you are offended, please gently let me know.  I never ever want you to think I am unteachable.  I see you as wise per, just as much as I see you as my child.

I thank God for you every single day.

Written by ktmom15