As I sit in my living room this morning with my children loudly trying to get their morning chores done, and all feeling so anxious about life, that they are bickering with one another. I can’t help but begin to cry. How did we get here? How do we move forward?
Life just seems so unfair!
My sister in law and her almost five year old son is asleep in my basement, after a long night of him crying over and over for his, “Dada.” I woke determined to try and hold myself together again today for those who need me. Determined to have our family Bible time this morning, and grab something from it to help me make sense of all of this unbelievable sadness. For I know the only way I will endure this day is through the power of His Word. But…
These are the questions on my heart, and running through my head. Why, Lord, why Alex? Why Michael?
How, Lord? How do we move forward? How do I help? How do I move past the shock and grief?
How do I “not fear?” How do I “trust?” How do I help?
A month ago, we had to say good bye to my oldest brother, who was so young, and now Alex who is only a year younger than Bubba, is gone too. Covid has taken two of my brothers. It just seems so unfair.
Too young, too soon.
I can’t help but think of all the other lives lost too soon. Especially, those lives that were so full of purpose, hope, passion, like Jeremy’s young cousin. Like the children of Ukraine. Like the unborn child that never even breathed his first breath.
As I sit here asking, God why, and how, I know He loves me, and He loves those who have gone to rest. I know in my head He will indeed comfort us all, and He will help us move forward one day at a time. But, as I watch Alex’s dog, who has a personality just like Alex’s, I can’t help but be sad for my nephew, who no longer has his “Dada,” his best friend and playmate, his silly and generous, “Dada.” And I can’t help but cry for him and his mother.
This life on this earth is indeed unfair, and if it were not for the hope of the life to come, I know I would not be able to endure this sorrow, and lose.
May Yehovah God be compassionate and gracious to us even now. Amen