A Day in the Life of a Big Crazy Family series (The Phone Rings)

Yesterday, as I was mowing my lawn, one of the best times to ponder and pray, I got an idea to start a new blog series.  People ask me and my children all the time, “what is it like having such a big family?” Of course, for us, it is just life, the only life we know.  But, I thought I would make this series more of a journal type series.  I am not sure exactly what I will share each time, but I opened it up to my children to also share their daily “big family” experiences.  Mostly, I want to place my thoughts here, for my family, siblings, cousins, children, and grandchildren to look back on and share these daily experiences and memories with our future generations.

So, before I share my first entry, a bit of background for the readers.  I am the second daughter to my parents. My parents gave birth to a third daughter a couple years later.  But, I do not remember much of those early years with just the three of us, because my parents, like my aunt, and cousins, also had other children.  Foster children, and adopted children.  This was “normal” life in our family.  Our closest relatives that we spent time with weekly had lots of children, and we had lots of children.  Children who stayed for a day, a week, months, a year or two, and children who became part of our forever family.  This was and is still the way our family functions.  My parents adopted 14 of my siblings over the years, most of whom are special needs.  My aunt and uncle have a total of 12 children, adopted and biological.  My sister has six children total, also both adopted and biological.  My other sister has eight total.  I have 15 total legal children.  These are just a small  sample of our family size. It doesn’t include the foster children numbers, which would be hundreds of children more.  So, when I say we have a big family, I mean a big family.

As a child, it made life so fun to always have someone to do things with.  On the other hand, if you did want a moment alone, it might be a bit challenging.  So, here is today’s entry to this new journal.

Yesterday, I went on Facebook just like I do every morning to check in on my Bible reading group.  When my Facebook opened the top post was from my brother, Bubba.  For a split second, I forgot.  I forgot that it was impossible for Bubba to post anything on Facebook.  Bubba had died a year ago.  Bubba wasn’t going to post about his super hero babysitting business.  He wasn’t going to call me a dozen times today.  He was not going to spend all his food stamp money on pop to sell at my rummage sale.  He wasn’t going to play basketball in the special Olympics this year.

For a second, I forgot.

It was only a split second, but it hurt.  Right to the core of me it hurt.  I took a deep breath, prayed for my momma, who misses those annoying phone calls even more than me, and prayed for my younger siblings who shouldn’t have to feel so much loss at such a young age.  Then I sent Facebook the request to memorialize Bubba’s Facebook account.  I had to find his obituary, and send it to them.  Of course, I couldn’t stop myself from reading it again, and all the wonderful comments that others wrote below it.  Now why did I do that.  Now, I am crying, and it is past time to start my kids morning school lessons.  I take a deep breath, and get off Facebook.  As I begin my kids morning lessons, my phone rings.

It’s my mom.  I used to let all calls go to voicemail during school time, I didn’t have time to be interrupted, but not now, not anymore.  Not since I don’t get those calls from Bubba and Alex anymore.  Now every call from mom, dad, and the siblings sends a million thoughts and feelings through me in an instant.  As soon as, I see it is from one of them, I have a moment of panic like the night I missed my sister in law, Kristy’s call.  I missed it by only seconds, yet those seconds were the last seconds of Alex’s life.  Would it have mattered if I had gotten to the phone sooner?  No, but I wish I would have.  Every time the phone rings, I have to answer now.  Just in case.

I miss those nonsense calls from Bubba and Alex.  “hey, Katie, guess what? I just cleaned my bedroom.”  Oh, how they used to irritate me when I was busy, too busy, but now, I would give anything for just one more.

So, I answer the phone in the middle of morning lessons, when my mom calls, because every call is so valuable.  She asks if I can help my brother, Eddie, apply for jobs, because he lost his job and needs to pay his bills.  I say I will do what I can.  Then I tell my kids before we get back to our lessons, we need to pray for uncle Eddie, who just lost his job.

We pray.

As the day goes on more calls, more prayers.  Millie calls, we talk.  Eddie calls, we talk.  Jackie calls, we talk.  Each of them have so many needs, so many questions.  They are young, as young as my own children.  They are trying to navigate this world.  They are trying to be independent.  They are my family, and my heart.

Being in a big family means always having someone to pray for,  day and night.  Night and day.

The phone rings.

Written by Katie